


more-than-love

by blackbluewoo



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 15:37:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15342981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbluewoo/pseuds/blackbluewoo
Summary: “You found your soulmate,” Donghun mumbled deridingly, fingers running over the patch of skin above Jun’s hipbone, once clean and smooth, now stained by black ink of a person’s name that wasn’t his.





	more-than-love

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is a little all over the place! if u enjoyed it please leave a kudos it encourages me to keep writing :D

Some people didn’t have soulmates. Donghun always assumed him and Junhee were those types of people- people who floated around aimlessly and found each other in the midst of it. He thought it was better that they chose each other, that they weren’t assigned to be together. They fit like two puzzle pieces; they could sit in each other’s company and talk for hours, they could lay together in silence and Donghun would get more smitten for the younger boy with every passing second.

That didn’t make the concept of soulmates any less valid- their relationships were magic, apparently. Ascended time and space and love itself- two people bound together for life. The only reason the thought of it didn’t make Donghun want to throw up was because he was best friends with Byeongkwan and Sehyoon- soulmates. He could see it in their eyes when they looked at each other, he could sense it when they were around each other, he knew it by the way their presence lit eachother up.

 

People always asked if him and Jun were soulmates, and they almost always lied and said they were. It was easier. It felt like they were anyway- but no matter how much love and devotion they had to each other their names didn’t appear on their skin, they didn’t ascend space and time (although, Donghun would argue, he loved Jun in a way he doubted anyone else did and could).

 

He still remembers the feeling of sitting under the stars with Jun, late nights when they had nowhere else to be, nowhere else to go, the feeling of being so impossibly small. That was when they weren’t together- they weren’t soulmates. It was always a taboo thing- relationships with people who weren’t your soulmates were seen as risky and stupid, the type of thing teenagers had before they found the people they wanted to be with for the rest of their life.

 

Donghun remembers the feeling of Jun turning towards him and breaking the quiet of the night.

 

“I don’t care if we aren’t soulmates,” He whispered. “I know we love each other. What are we waiting for?”

 

Donghun was too shocked to speak, too shocked to move, until Jun leaned forward to meet his lips, and it felt like the whole world crashed down around him. Everything he thought he knew he forgot, nothing existed but Jun in that moment with their lips pressed together and hands in each other’s hair. Jun tasted like coffee, lips warm and soft and _just insistent enough_ against his own. Jun's hands slid out of his hair to hold the older man's face in his hands, and his fingers lightly traced patterns across his cheek. He clutched onto Jun’s hips instinctively and they fell backwards, onto the grassy banks, smiling into each other's mouths. They pulled away, and even in the dim light Donghun could see the dusting of blush across Jun's cheekbones.

 

“I don’t want to wait,” Donghun said breathlessly.

 

“Good,” Jun replied, cracking a smile.

 

Everything was sudden and new. They didn’t know when or where they were going to meet their soulmates, if at all. Donghun knew it was dangerous. Being together like they were now, laying down in public, hands on each other and bodies pressed together. They were reckless and young, and willing to risk everything for each other.

 

It wasn’t until the night of their fourth anniversary that the fog finally cleared.

 

They were kissing- rough and passionate, hands all over each other, mouths planting sloppy kisses on whatever skin was available. They had come back from their anniversary dinner, a night of takeaway under the stars and fireworks on the same bank they had sat on all those years ago. They went every year, and every year Junhee looked at him the same way- tan skin, toothy smiles and eye crinkles. 

 

“Take your shirt off,” Donghun commanded, unbuttoning his own shirt as he spoke.

 

Jun fumbled with the first few buttons until Donghun pulled the shirt completely over his head. He squeaked in protest as the older man’s hands snaked up his sides and mouth slid down to his jaw, placing firm kisses along his jawline. Whimpering, Jun pulled back and met Donghun’s lips with his own, hands tangled in his hair. Their hands were all over each other, touching every exposed piece of skin, and despite Jun’s protests, Donghun’s kisses slid from his lips down his torso, each kiss planted delicately from his throat down to where his jeans were buttoned. Donghun snapped the elastic waistband against the younger man's skin, and he squealed slightly. He gripped Jun's sides, and began working small love bites all over his lower stomach whilst unbuttoning and sliding down his jeans.

 

“Ah, stop moving,” Donghun laughed as Jun squirmed in position, his body held still by the older man.

 

“It- tickles,” Jun giggled, covering his eyes with his arms.

 

“You’re ruining the mood,” Donghun whispered into his stomach, teeth nibbling at a piece of skin teasingly.

 

Donghun leaned back to admire his handiwork and the squirming, flushed mess that was Junhee. Instead, that was when he noticed it.

 

In black ink, just above Jun's hip bone.

 

His heart dropped. All Donghun could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears, and his mind fell completely blank, not able to register Jun’s teasing.

 

“Hey, Lee Donghun,” Jun chuckled, leaning up suddenly and kissing his boyfriend. “Do you not want to anymore?”

 

Donghun could tell that past the playful tone Jun’s voice was gentle, and that made it worse. He couldn't stop the tears slipping out his eyes. Jun with his stupid pretty voice and pretty eyes which looked at Donghun softly, and his stupid small hands that wiped Donghun’s tears away as he asked him what was wrong. It was all too much. Donghun just let out a small, disbelieving laugh, like he was choking back tears.

 

“You found your soulmate,” Donghun mumbled deridingly, fingers running over the patch of skin above Jun’s hipbone, once clean and smooth, now stained by black ink of a person’s name that wasn’t his.

 

Jun kept looking at Donghun, hands cupping his face lightly, half a smile across his features.

 

“Is that it? Is that what’s making you upset?” Jun asked, index finger tracing a pattern across his boyfriend’s cheekbone. “So what? I still love you, Donghun. I love you so much.”

 

Donghun pulled Jun’s hands off his face gently, head turned away, like he couldn’t bear to meet his boyfriend’s eyes.

 

“How long have you known?” Donghun whispered.

 

“I didn’t, you just told me.”

 

Donghun looked up slightly, so more tears wouldn’t fall, and laughed bitterly.

 

“Choi Jinsoo,” Donghun informed Jun. “The guy I made you shake hands with before we went to dinner.”

 

“I don’t care,” Jun repeated stubbornly. “I love you.”

 

“You’re gonna- you're gonna destroy him if you say that. This guy’s gonna realise and he’s gonna text me, and he’s gonna say that my boyfriend is his soulmate, and he’s so sorry but he just thought he should let me know. And you’re not gonna date him, and-and his whole life will fall apart around you.”

 

“Stop, stop-” Jun tried to interrupt, but Donghun still carried on.

 

“I’m not gonna be selfish and ruin this. I love you Junhee, and if I could love you the way this guy can, I would. But if I don’t let you- god, if I don’t make you go with him, it’s gonna tear me apart.”

 

Donghun didn’t dare to look at Jun.

 

“All I want,” Jun whispered carefully, his voice thick in his throat. “Is you. I don’t care if you can’t love me as much as he does, I don’t care, I don’t want his love, I want yours. Please.”  


The only noise in their apartment was the clock ticking, slowly, the noise almost painful to both the men’s ears- like a persistent reminder of their quickly fading future.

 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Donghun finally said.

 

He stood up, leaving Jun sitting in the middle of their ruined bedsheets, hopelessness evident in his eyes.

 

\--

 

 _I needed some space,_ Donghun wrote. _I bought milk + kimchi before I left. I’ll be back in a couple of days. Text, don’t call._

 

Jun found it stuck in a yellow post-it note on the fridge in the morning, after he had woken up to find the other side of the bed cold. He sunk to his knees in front of the fridge, crushing the note in his fist, choking back tears.

 

\--

 

Donghun only let himself completely fall apart when Jun wasn’t there, when he was sitting on the sofa in Sehyoon and Byeongkwan’s apartment. It was embarrassing- because the only person he let himself break down in front of usually was Jun, and now he was sitting in his his best friend’s apartment, their arms around him and heads leaning on him, offering him comfort. _Comfort_ , for the one thing they would never have to experience in their lives. He felt bitter, even just looking at their apartment it felt like they were rubbing it in his face- _the universe wanted us to be together._

 

“You don’t have to leave him,” Sehyoon reiterated. “You love each other so much, people are convinced you’re soulmates everytime you introduce yourselves. Remember that lady who said that she could see it in your eyes?”

 

“I can’t give him what his soulmate can,” Donghun mumbled. “ _Soulmate_. Their souls were meant to be together, from the moment he was born. I was just a distraction along the way.”

 

“He wouldn’t have spent four years on a distraction. He wouldn’t have bought an apartment for a distraction, he wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if he wasn’t completely convinced that he’d be with you over his soulmate.” Byeongkwan almost yelled, frustrated.

 

Donghun stayed silent. He loved Jun. All he wanted was to see the younger man happy. He had done _so much_ to see him happy- he had gone to concerts and bars and abroad. He had stayed in Jun's family’s house for Christmas; he had let Jun decorate their apartment with cactuses and abstract art, he had _made_ Jun study abroad for five months, five months where he missed the younger man so much it felt like he was going to fall apart. Jun was the first thing he saw in the morning, the last thing he saw before he went to bed. When he felt sad and aimless, Jun was the thing that kept him attached to the world beneath his feet- this beautiful, almost surreal man who looked like he was half Greek god but acted as if the other half of him was a five year old.

 

All Donghun wanted to do was cry. So he did, and Sehyoon and Byeongkwan offered him sympathy, paracetamol and a place to sleep. Even at 1am, after they both had pretended to go to sleep, Donghun could hear the their faint whispers through the thin walls. About him, probably. About things they couldn't understand.

 

\--

 

??: Hi, this is Jinsoo.

??: Donghun gave me your number.

Jun: Hi, this is Jun.

Jun: Delete it.

 

\--

 

Donghun wasn’t a liar. He came back to their apartment. Jun saw him coming and hugged him as soon as he entered, his arms twined around his middle, head bowed and resting on his chest. Jun was warm, like always. Welcoming and soft and delicate and everything Donghun wanted to have but couldn't let himself.

 

“I missed you, I love you,” Jun whispered into the material of his t-shirt.

 

Donghun didn’t know what to reply with. All he wanted to do was tilt Jun’s head back and kiss him with all he had, to lift him up and push him into the sofa and make him forget about the past two days, but if there’s one thing Donghun wasn’t, he wasn’t selfish. He couldn’t do that to Jun, or to Jinsoo. They deserved to be together.

 

“Jinsoo texted me,” Jun said, pulling away and wiping his eyes.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I blocked him.”

 

Donghun looked at the younger man sadly.

 

“Stop throwing your life away because of me.”

 

There was a pause, and Jun inhaled sharply, tears appearing once again in his eyes.

 

“You are my life.” He said.

 

“You’re not making this easy,”

 

“You’re making it hard,” Junhee said stubbornly, his lips naturally pouting at he raised his voice slightly. “It’s easy, it’s so easy. Stay with me. All I want is you. I don’t need a soulmate- I just want- I need you. I need you, Donghun.”

 

Donghun tried to ignore him, tried to walk past him to their kitchen, his head held as high as he could manage, as if what Jun was saying meant nothing at all.

 

“ _I love you_!” Junhee shouted.

 

Donghun paused, his back still towards the younger man.

 

“Fuck the world, fuck the universe, fuck God, fuck time and space and whatever more-than-love means!” Jun practically screamed.

 

Donghun winced at the harsh sound. Their landlord wouldn’t be happy tomorrow.

 

“I’m happy being loved. I’m happy loving you. I don’t need a soulmate, I need you, Donghun. I chose you, not your old friend from high school, you. We promised, four years ago. You can’t go back on it now, I won’t let you. You have to stay, because-because, you love me and I love you. So stay. And we’ll love each other. Fuck everyone else.”

 

Donghun didn’t say anything. Jun grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around, looking directly into his eyes. God, Jun was so beautiful- so fierce but delicate, so handsome but achingly pretty at the same time. His jaw was set sternly, and Donghun just wanted to kiss away the tension in his neck. He wanted to see him smile, to see the wrinkles beneath his his eyes and hear the tinkle of his laughter and Donghun realised he definitely wasn't selfless enough to let Jun go, to let the most beautiful man and the most amazing thing that ever happened to him go.

 

“Marry me, Lee Donghun. Fuck everyone. We’ll get married in America. And then, we can kiss in the street where no-one knows our name and where no-one cares and we-”

 

Donghun cut him off with a kiss. He cupped Junhee’s face in his hands, pulling him closer, the taste of salt clear on his lips. He was crying, because God this was fucked up, this wasn’t supposed to be how the world worked at all- but he was here and so was Jun and they were together and as close as they could get and that’s the best they had.

 

“I, need, you,” Jun whispered between kisses.

 

“Okay, okay,” Donghun panted. “Yeah, okay.”

  


\--

 

It’s 4am in the morning a few months later.

 

Donghun wakes up because Junhee’s screaming. Yelling, his voice twisted and distorted- clinging onto his stomach like someone’s stabbed him. He’s so loud it reverberates through their apartment, amplifying the horror in Donghun's ears.

 

“Fuck, Junhee, what’s wrong?” Donghun asks frantically, peeling back the sheets.

 

“I’ll call an ambulance,” He says, more panicked.

 

Junhee nods, panting, but not soon after, screams again like he’s being tortured. He rolls onto his stomach, hands grasping underneath his shirt for his stomach. His face is flushed red, and panic fills Donghun, he doesn’t know what to do apart from describe what’s happening on the phone and then wait-

 

Junhee groans, choking back a sob that wracks through his entire body. His hands twist and write against the sheets, like something has possessed him, but he’s crying. Tears spill down his cheeks and he groans again into the pillow. He reaches out to Donghun, who’s paralysed with fear, and Donghun takes his hand. Jun squeezes it tightly, so tightly, like he’s trying to stop the blood flow, but the older man lets himself feel the pain.

 

“I’m here, Jun, okay?” Donghun reassures him, stumbling over his words as he’s speaking quickly. “The ambulance is on it’s way, it’s coming, don’t worry,”

 

Jun sobs, his yelling and groaning filling the air again. Donghun’s crying, the pressure on his hand feels so distant from what he’s witnessing right in front of him- something that he can do nothing about. Something that he doesn’t know enough about to even try to help. 

 

He prays Jun doesn’t die, whatever this is. Donghun’s an atheist, but he holds Jun’s hand in both of his and bows his head to pray, because Jun is the only goddamn thing that matters to him and if-

 

There’s banging on his door. As much as he hates it, he has to let go of Jun’s hand, and run to the door. Coming through immediately are people carrying a stretcher and a couple of paramedics, who immediately load Jun on, and exit the apartment. Donghun shuffles into his sandals, the ones that Jun hates, to leave the apartment. He follows them down the three stories, and outside the ambulance- until he tries to enter.

 

“Are you his soulmate?” The paramedic asks.

 

“No, but I-”

 

“Sorry, we don’t have enough room.” The paramedic answers, clipped, shutting the back door. “We can’t let you inside, we’ve taken your name and details so when you get to the hospital you can ask at the front desk.”

 

“I-”

 

“I’m sorry sir, we have to go now.” The paramedic interrupts, faux-apologetically, and gets in the driver’s seat. The ambulance leaves.

 

If Donghun wasn’t worried that this might potentially be the last night of Jun’s life, he’d allow some room for himself to get angry. Of course he knew that soulmates could give extreme emotional comfort, but he could at least give a little, as his fiance. 

 

\--

 

Donghun only looks up from his chair when Byeongkwan and Sehyoon enter the waiting room- holding hands and looking around. Chan follows closely behind, still in his pyjamas, robe billowing out behind him as he runs into the room.

 

When Byeongkwan spots Donghun he rushes forward, pulling the older man into a tight embrace. Chan quickly joins, and whilst Sehyoon is not typically a touchy person, he joins in too, piling on top of Donghun for emotional support. After they pull away, Sehyoon takes a seat beside him and Byeongkwan crouches down, placing both his hands on the older man’s knees.

 

“Have you heard anything?” Byeongkwan prompts gently.

 

“No, ah-” Donghun’s voice cracks slightly. He runs a hand anxiously through his hair. “It’s been over an hour, and I’m fucking terrified.”

 

As if on cue, a nurse enters, calling out Donghun’s name. When Donghun hears it, he throws himself towards the front desk, almost tripping over his own feet.

 

“You’re here for Park Junhee, right?” The nurse comments, writing things down on a clipboard.

 

“Yeah, he’s my fiance.”

 

“He was asking for you,” The nurse chuckles.

 

Donghun lets out a breath he doesn’t know he was holding. _He’s alive, he’s alive,_ is the only thing that he can hear, his lips spreading into a smile.

 

“Is he okay?” Donghun asks gently.

 

“It looks like his soulmate died. As you know, soulmates often have a more physical connection to each other, so they can feel each other’s emotions, desires, wants- but they can also feel each other’s pain. It seems like his soulmate suffered a lot- judging by the amount of stress Mr Park was under, of course it doesn’t need to be treated, as it’s not his personal injury, but he does need a lot of rest.” The nurse informs him.

 

“Okay, okay,” Donghun confirms, nodding his head.

 

Some part of him is screaming at him to cry, Jinsoo is his old friend after all and he’s dead. However, the most part of Donghun is too overcome with relief at the fact that Jun’s okay to feel anything for anyone else.

 

“Even if he didn’t know well, or had a bad relationship with his soulmate, he will be in some sort of grief. Not necessarily crying or active sadness, but some kind of emptiness and worthlessness.”

 

Donghun nods impatiently, just wanting to see his fiance.

 

“You can bring up any family and friends, we gave him his own private room. It will cost a little extra-”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Donghun interrupts.

 

He turns around to call over Chan, Byeongkwan and Sehyoon, and they all are led by the nurse up to a private room.

 

Sandalwood incense is burning as they all enter. The lights are dimmed, but they still illuminate the high points of Junhee's face. He's not completely laying down, his bed angled up slightly, but his eyes are closed, most likely tired from the pain he felt. Donghun’s eyes water thinking about it, and he makes his way over. He looks down at the man he loves, brushing a lock of hair out of his face. Jun wakes up a little, but his eyes are still half lidded.

 

“Donghun?” He asks, obviously still dazed.

 

“Yeah, I’m here,” Donghun reassures him, taking his hand and kissing it lightly. “Are you okay?”

 

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. But I have a scar.” Jun whispers, and prompts Donghun to lift up his shirt slightly.

 

“Hey, Chan, Byeongkwan and Sehyoon are here.” Donghun chuckles.

 

A tired smile makes its way across Jun’s features. He turns to greet them sleepily, before facing Donghun again.

 

“It’s very PG. It’s just above my hip.”

 

Donghun’s gentle, lowering the band of Jun’s trousers with curled finger tips, and pushing his shirt up slightly. True to Jun’s word, there’s a risen scar across where Jinsoo’s name used to be. Some part of Donghun aches, but he's not awake enough to register the emotion that resonates. He runs his fingers across the scar softly, and Jun shivers. The older man takes his hand away as if he’s just burned himself.

 

“Does it hurt?” He inquires.

 

“No,” Jun chuckles, looking at Donghun again, something mischievous in his eyes. “It’s just-”

 

“Hi, we’re still here,” Sehyoon announces, interrupting Jun mid-sentence.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Jun almost-giggles.

 

Donghun pulls up a seat next to the hospital bed, and clasps one of Junhee’s hands in both of his. He brings it to his forehead, and thanks whatever almighty power listened to his prayer. He presses his lips to Jun’s hand again, like a soft kiss, and looks at him briefly. He's back to golden again, after the red that overtook his entire face while he screamed. His face was greasy, the dim light still reflecting the shine off his face. 

 

Byeongkwan and Chan joke around and argue a little bit, Sehyoon joining in their conversation too. Jun is obviously amused, but tired, and he closes his eyes and leans back in the bed. He squeezes Donghun’s hand. 

 

“You scared me so much,” Donghun whispers, running the pad of his thumb across Jun’s knuckles.  “I’ve never seen you hurt so much before. I thought you were dying.”

 

Junhee opens his eyes slightly, blinking slowly.

 

“Do you think if… if me and him were together, he would’ve died?” Jun asks, vulnerable.

 

Donghun looks at him sadly.

 

“I don’t know,” He mumbles. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

 

Jun smiles a little before closing his eyes again.

 

 

"I love you so much, Lee Donghun."

 

"I love you too."

\--

 

end

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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